is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
