I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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