Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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