Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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