Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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