my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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