I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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