don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
