It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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