today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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