I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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