you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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