i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
as a side note pls kill me
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
