Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
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Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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