saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
