I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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