when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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