This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
