when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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