Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
