you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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