Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
