Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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