: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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