Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
