im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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