I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
