Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
