he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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