Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
