While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize