I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
