This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
