just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
