we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
