my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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