absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
