The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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