4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I didn't shave. On purpose
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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