Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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