i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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