I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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