Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Randomize
