butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
