i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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