the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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