that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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