Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
