So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
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You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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