i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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