this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
